On Friday, Marissa had her first day of Kindergarten. One by one each child came in with their parents in tow. The smell of new back packs, glue, crayons and paper filled the air. There we stood, Marissa and I, with great hesitancy. Almost looking at one another thinking, "Do we have to do this?".
Marissa has an attendant with her. The teacher wanted all the children to sit in their seats. The room got quiet and Marissa threw her first fit of the day. It was so bad, I had tears in my eyes but knew that I could not intervene. Today, was going to set the course between her and her aide. I wanted to say to all the parents who were looking at her with such disdain "she has autism people!". But, I didn't. I stood their trying to be proud like the others but inside I was crying, wanting to take her and run. I couldn't, I knew that, but still I had the thought.
That night, she came to me and said, "I was mad today". I said "you were". "Yes". "Why?", "They made me sit, I don't like to sit", "your a big girl now, you have to sit", she was quiet, then she says "I don't want to be a big girl". I laughed. Because, I don't want her to be a big girl either.
So we are now on day three, and she is doing better. She doesn't like it, but she is better then she was. And tomorrow will be another day.
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