I am beginning to wonder why God has chosen me for this journey of raising Marissa. In the recent weeks Marissa's hitting had subsided. We almost went four weeks with no hitting. I thought that we had been successful in moderating this problem. Now, she turns 6 and it is back with a vengeance. I am tired and I am worn out. I feel like a punching bag. Do you know how it feels to be hit in the face by your own child? It is the worst feeling in the world. I can physically feel my stomach drop, my head throb and my heart cry. I can handle most things, but this is beginning to be impossible. I've tried everything from taking things away to the easy button at Staples, nothing is working.
So as I sit here, I am crying. It has been a long time since I've cried. I went in her room after I escorted her to bed, hoping that physically seeing that I was visibly upset she would understand, she just looked at me and told me to shut the door. Then I noticed her bed, she has put her elephant, cow, Mack and bear in her bed and line them up like her dad and I always do. The funny thing about that is her room was dark and she has a basket full of animals. I am not sure how she accomplished that, but she did.
I pray that God will give me the strength to help her overcome this hitting dilemma. I pray that this will be something I look back on and think "wow, that was a trial". As with everything, this to shall pass. Oh, I hope it passes soon. Because a girl that can get four stuffed animals out of basket of forty and line them up perfectly in her bed, in the dark, can certainly learn not to hit.