Tuesday, August 24, 2010

First Day of Kindergarten

On Friday, Marissa had her first day of Kindergarten. One by one each child came in with their parents in tow. The smell of new back packs, glue, crayons and paper filled the air. There we stood, Marissa and I, with great hesitancy. Almost looking at one another thinking, "Do we have to do this?".

Marissa has an attendant with her. The teacher wanted all the children to sit in their seats. The room got quiet and Marissa threw her first fit of the day. It was so bad, I had tears in my eyes but knew that I could not intervene. Today, was going to set the course between her and her aide. I wanted to say to all the parents who were looking at her with such disdain "she has autism people!". But, I didn't. I stood their trying to be proud like the others but inside I was crying, wanting to take her and run. I couldn't, I knew that, but still I had the thought.

That night, she came to me and said, "I was mad today". I said "you were". "Yes". "Why?", "They made me sit, I don't like to sit", "your a big girl now, you have to sit", she was quiet, then she says "I don't want to be a big girl". I laughed. Because, I don't want her to be a big girl either.

So we are now on day three, and she is doing better. She doesn't like it, but she is better then she was. And tomorrow will be another day.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Being Kind

Due to Marissa's new attitude in life, noncompliancy (if that is a word), I decided that each night before she goes to bed we would do a little devotional about being kind to others and kind to herself. I am not sure that she really gets it, but it makes me feel better to know that at least I am giving her some type of a lesson. She must be getting it confused though, like last night, I had to put her in time out and she hollers, "Am I being kind?" it becomes quiet and then I hear her say "Yes, I am". I didn't say anything, I just kept my back to her and smiled. What I wanted to say was, "your being kind because your in time out".

I have learned some lessons about being kind, since Marissa came into my life. I have learned to have more tolerance for a child who screams in public or has a "tantrum" it just might be that the child has autism. I am more compassionate to a caregiver who is with a child in a wheel chair. I have and understanding that those around me just might be struggling and just a smile is all I need to do to be, well, kind.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Saying Lots of New Things

For any of you that have actually met Marissa you know that her vocabulary is small (what she's willing to share anyway), she hardly never speaks spontaneously, and sometimes it is hard to understand her. That is until recently. I have now realized that every word I speak goes into her brain and she saves it to use at the most convenient time for her.

An example of this is when she was refusing to listen to me when asking her to clean up her books. I ask her why will she not help, and she says "I'm old". Really? This is the best you got. Or as I am trying to get dressed after putting on several outfits, finally found one that I thinks is okay and she replies "your going to wear that!". Then she proceeds to say "nooooo mommy". I think this is more of her obsessive trait then actually my outfit. Oh, well.

In any case, she is finally using "her words" or maybe they are just mine- on replay.