As my preparations are winding down for work as I get ready to go out on leave, my home preparation is just beginning. Yesterday, I realized that I was starting to feel the anxiety and stress of Marissa's spinal cord surgery. The reality is finally hear and I can no longer say "its two months away or one month away", it is now just one week away.
Marissa has been through a lot of medical procedures but never one as serious as this one. She loves the doctors and nurses and I hope that this doesn't change it. I pray that God will be with the doctors as they begin to maneuver the nerves in her spinal cord and that the outcome we all hope this will bring will actually be achievable.
As for my home preparations they are just beginning. I am preparing my heart and my mind. Allowing myself to be weak and allowing others to see me weak. Which those of you who know me well, know this is not in my personality at all. I will cry when I need to cry, let my guard down and let others help me, but most importantly I will trust God with all my heart and mind. I know He is in control and it is up to Him what the outcome will be, because He already knows it.
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