I'm going to diverge little bit from my normal in this blog. Lately, I have been encountering a lot from people about family. I think that the holidays bring out the ups and downs of family and family life. I am one who is a true believer that your family is who you make it. You can have your "chosen" family. Being blood related, does not make family. Family are those people that you can count on and look up to for guidance and support. They are the people that always have your back- no matter what and regardless of how good or bad your situation maybe at any given time.
When I was 14 years old, I made the decision that I did not want to maintain contact with my biological father. It is not until I began doing social work that I realized that he suffered from some form of mental illness. I'm not licensed so I won't diagnosis him but I have my conclusion. In separating from him, I made the decision to separate from my entire paternal side of my family. I have aunts, uncles and cousins- but they are not my family- they are titles of estranged individuals. I haven't had any contact with them since my dad died. This is the way I intend to keep it.
Being estranged from him, did bring up some issues when Marissa was born. I had to contact him to find out about our "family" history. It didn't help, he didn't help. But, I realized that was the only thing he had ever tried to help me with in my life. This is the only time I really needed him and he couldn't pull through for me.
As Christmas approaches, I understand the value of my "chosen" family. There is no way that we could raise Marissa without the support and encouragement of those people who are not blood but have become my family. To you, I will always be eternally grateful.
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