Reminders

Last night, Steve and I attended a town hall meeting about an autism school that could be coming to our area by the fall of this year.  I was excited for this new opportunity because our community lacks a lot of resources that would be helpful for parents with children of autism.  As I sat and listened, a couple of things became clear.  One I was sitting in a room full of desperate parents trying to find anything that will help them with their child.  And secondly, I realized I was not alone.  My thoughts are the same as other families who face this challenge every day.  Some with great esteem, others just trying to make it moment by moment.   Sometimes,  I get myself into this box where I believe that no one understands what I am going though.  How it feels to be hit by your child on a constant basis, or the repetitiveness of their minds.  Then I realized, as I listen to a man talk about his son almost crying, we are all in this together.    There are other moms, dads, and other caregivers that are dealing with the same meltdown, the same behavior, the same diagnosis.

Again today, I was reminded of the up hill climb that Marissa has to face.  As I was sitting in the waiting room, looking at the families wondering what their story is, again I am not alone.   Just because I am following doctors orders to a t,  I am not in control of this situation.  God is.  There are times when I just plea with God to heal her or  just to let me change places with my little girl.   One parent last night said, "haven't I been though the ringer enough?".  Unfortunately, the answer is no.  Marissa is 7.  This is my life.  The reality is that she will always need someone to care for her.  She maybe able to live semi-independently but she will always be dependent on someone.

For the most part, I am optimistic about her life and our situation.  But, at the moment I am feeling rather weary.  I am in a valley preparing to climb our next mountain.  And as everything, there is a season.  This has just been a long season.