Autism Awareness Month

As I sit here, the reality of Marissa's autism is very real. She is also sick currently which always compounds the situation even more. We have lived with this diagnosis for the past two years. However, we are gratefully that with her chromosome disorder we were able to have early intervention services in place when she was six months old. This has been such a struggle for us and especially for me. I had to grieve the child that I did not have and come to gripes with the child I have. Some days are easier then others, but we take one day at a time. There are lots of things Marissa is unable to do. Like now for an example, she is sick but she doesn't have the ability to identify what feels funny to be able to tell you, "my stomach hurts" or "my head hurts". Instead we have to play the wonderful guessing game. When she is sick she is what I call "hyper sensitive". Like now, she is standing beside me saying "something is wrong with my socks, mom can look at my socks". I look, nothing is wrong. Two minutes later, she says "mommy, I got something in my mouth". I look, nothing is wrong. Then she says, "mom, can you look a my finger". Over and over we do this. Move from her socks to her mouth to her finger without really knowing what is truly wrong. One would think it would be hand, foot and mouth disease, but its not. It would never be that easy. She can't tell me how her day went at school and she really doesn't have "friends" in the sense that other kids have friends. She makes funny noises and has major meltdowns. I often feel that I live the movie "50 First Dates" because nothing in my day is different when it comes to her. Recently, as I have listened to my friends talk about their children I have complied a list of things I am grateful for having a special needs child, who also has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. So, here is my top ten list: 10. Marissa is not interested in the latest and greatest toys. So, I don't have to worry about tracking things down or stalking the Internet to make sure that perfect gift is under the tree at Christmas. 9. Marissa loves computers and electronic stuff. So if I can't figure out how something works, give it to her and in a few minutes she has it all figured out. 8. Marissa loves clothes. She has to make sure that everything matches. No dressing herself and wearing crazy outfits to school. 7. Marissa loves order and structure. Everything has it time and place. 6. Marissa loves music and songs. I have learned to stretch my creativity by making up songs to going to the bathroom to brushing teeth. 5. Marissa is the ultimate picky eater. So I buy yogurt, pound cake, mac and cheese, pancakes and waffles and we are covered. 4. Marissa's room is always very clean. Everything has its place and she hates it to be messy. 3. Marissa loves different languages. French, Spanish, and Chinese. We are covered. 2. Marissa has a memory like you would not believe. So I can tell you who got in trouble at school, what they did, and what she learned that day. Not by her telling me, but at night when I put her to bed, she presses "play" on her brain and I know. This really scares the teachers. (Yes!) 1. Marissa is so unique and I thank God every day that he gave her to me.